Total loser's guide

Total Loser's Guidance
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Total Loser's Guide: The anti - niche website.


Now entering the mind of a Total Loser. Proceed with caution!

A Total Losers perspective on various topics, also known as Loserisms.

What is a Loserism?

Loser: One who fails constantly, especially a person with bad luck, or poor skills.
Ism: A distinctive system of principles, or theories.

Loserism: A distinctive doctrine, system of principles, or theories of one who fails constantly, especially a person with bad luck, or poor skills. Here are some of ours.



Let's start with insomnia. What can we say about insomnia other than it sucks. When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep, and you’re never really awake. (Yes, I know that is a quote from the movie Fight Club.)

Many times I have been asked by those who have no clue, “How can you not sleep?”

I always ask in reply, “How can you sleep?” People that do not suffer from insomnia can’t even begin to understand what it is like. Personally I can’t understand how someone can fall asleep instantly just by laying down. It makes me think about those toy dolls that close their eyes when you lay them down, and open them again when you stand them up. I wish falling asleep were that easy.

I spend most of my nights while trying to fall asleep reading. I mostly read books on investing, or educational books, even traveling, especially far away places such as Thailand.

I like to learn about the culture there, as well as Thai language. Now I can speak Thai as well as any tourist there. People in Thailand really like it when you try to speak Thai to them instead of expecting them to speak English. I even ordered a delicious meal in a restaurant completely in Thai language. The maids in every hotel that I have stayed in enjoyed having a simple conversation in Thai with me, and... Oh yes where was I insomnia. I got a little side tracked there for a moment. Perhaps I have a touch of ADHD as well. Hey look a butterfly.

I eventually will start to feel sleepy after a few hours of steady reading. Then I will lay there in bed, gazing up at the ceiling trying hopelessly to fall asleep. I lay there waiting for a good nights sleep that never seems to come.

Eventually I will fall asleep, even losers must get some sleep sometimes, but it is never a restful good nights sleep, what ever that is. Waking back up after only a few hours of sleep, and not being able to get back to sleep is the worst. You lay there tossing, and turning getting frustrated, and angry as you watch the clock move closer and closer to the time the alarm is set to go off.

loserisms insomnia

People have often told me that I should take an over the counter sleep aid. I have already tried that. I usually need to double the dose to even begin to feel groggy a few hours later. I have taken so many at times that my liver throbs so bad I end up holding my side in pain. That can’t be a good thing. If you take it everyday your body gets use to the Diphenhydramine that is the active ingredient in it, and it won’t work anymore. I have found that it does help to have a snack an hour or so after you take it to help activate it.

I remember having a co-worker that would say, “Sleep is over rated. I will sleep when I am dead.”

Ironically he passed away not too long ago, I hope he is resting well. He told me just before he left this dimension that his kidneys failed, and he wouldn’t be around much longer. According to him, his doctor told him that it was because he didn’t drink enough water. Seems he would work long hours, but seldom would stop for a drink. Make sure you drink enough water. You might want to avoid Evian water though.

If first you don't succeed... maybe LOSING is your style.

Bottled water:

If seems as if everybody these days drinks bottled water. I work in a grocery store, and we sell a large quantity of water. Keeping the water full is a full time job at my store. The best selling water there is Evian water straight from the French Alps. It is also the one that tells you outright that you are foolish for buying it.

Do you know what Evian is?

It is naive spelled backwards. They can’t be more blatant than that, and people still buy a lot of it.

Enjoy a cold refreshing drink of Naive water in our handy petroleum based plastic bottle today!

Time Travel
Just how long is a minute? I have heard it said in the past that it all depends on the situation. One minute with your hand on a hot stove can seem like an eternity. One minute sitting on a park bench having a conversation with a pretty girl is but an instant in time.

I remember clearly back in high school sitting in another boring class. I'd watch the second hand spin around on the face of the clock waiting for the 47 minute class period to end, and it would seem like each class lasted an insanely long time. That was 25 years ago. That 25 years of time since then has gone by very quickly. Is it just me, or does one seem to travel faster through time as one ages??? I think time moves most quickly when you are in bed, wake up and see that you still have two hours left to sleep before the alarm goes off. Those two hours go by in a flash. Those two hours go by instantly compared to te 47 minute

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